I'm Baaack!

As I was told yesterday by my awesome, beautiful cousin Kenzie who I love love love-I never blog. ;) I love ya girl-look you made me post something. Today I want to write a few words thanking all of my family and friends who are ALWAYS here for me! Kenz, I so appreciate you offering to take me to the hospital the other night when I needed to go even though you were so busy because it was Mother's Day. I also want to thank her awesome husband Brady for being understanding! Even though she didn't end up having to take me-just knowing you would is so comforting and I am so thankful! I hope you know I would do anything for you!!! I love ya girl!!! For my lovely mom and dad for EVERYTHING they do for me! I have been extremely blessed to have them as my parents! I don't even have to ask and they are there for whatever I need and have taught me so much! As well as my beautiful sisters who I always have fun with and are close with, it's nice to have some girls I can always talk to and giggle with-even if I am usually the butt of the jokes. :) I love you Kaycee and Shanae! All of my grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles-my whole family! I LOVE YOU!!! To my great friend Brandon and his wife Emily who keep me laughing and Brandon for keeping me on my toes about promising to come play games with them! I can always count on him not just if I need to talk, but I can always count on him for a laugh and we get along so well! Also for catching me in the ambulance when I almost fell as I was helping a patient. :) To Eric-who I have had a great friendship with, but also our good and bad times and we're still going strong! When we hang out we always have a great time as well as when talking we can tell what the other is thinking and can tell anything and everything to and not be judged, but help each other through things and can laugh even though I can't bowl or hula hoop worth anything :), as well as sticking with each other during the baseball season and loving the same team. Go Braves!!! Andy-you Always give me a laugh and never let me forget how I shouldn't where wedges and carry 12 packs of Mtn. Dew down your back stairs :) Sweetest guy and again, even though I can't bowl we have fun and keep in touch no matter what. For those friends who have moved away yet still keep in touch-thanks! Daniel and Hannah I miss you and can't wait to see you next time you come! For all my EMT and Firefighter friends I have worked with and continue to keep in touch with, who have shown me so much-I Thank You!!! For JD who is graduating Air Force basic training soon-THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO DO FOR ALL OF US!!! I miss ya! Those families I have babysat for and love and formed bonds with-You have touched my life for the better and always will! If I haven't mentioned someone I'm sorry-it doesn't mean you don't mean just as much to me, it's because this post would go on for years! I Love and Thank you all for touching my life!
I also want to touch on those who I and many others have lost throughout the years. I miss you everyday, I love you always, and your memories will stay with me forever! To Shae who sadly we lost this year- I love you! I'm sorry we didn't keep in touch over the last few years, but you touched me for a lifetime! Thanks for your friendship and love to me and so many others! I know you're up there smiling and happy looking over Bella, your family and your 2 best friends! I just want to say I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch with all those who have affected my life for the better and I am going to try even harder because you never know what can happen! I encourage all others to do the same-let those you love, know you love them!!! I'm going to try my hardest to do that!
Again, those I haven't mentioned-it doesn't mean I don't love, appreciate, miss you, or mean so much to me. I just can't name you all because so many of you have had an influence on my life and I love you!!!
I will try to write more often, even if it's a paragraph that isn't of much interest-I'll work on it. :) Thanks for the nudge Kenz!

Oh My Gosh!

Friday morning a little after 5am after my dad went to work I was downstairs and heard the cat meowing at the door, I thought 'he just went out with dad, why does he want in now?'. I soon found out. I open the door, it's dark and in he comes and sets a mouse down. It starts running around and over my foot! EEK! I about passed out! Normally it wouldn't bug me so much but it was early in the morning, I hadn't slept, and the mouse ran over my foot! I called my dad and he was probably barely out of the driveway, he tells me to lay back down on the couch and let the cat get it-I'm thinking 'dad, mice CAN CLIMB!' Just because he hates them and didn't want to come back :) He proceeds to tell me to whack it with a broom or something. I just thought 'thanks for the help :)' So the cat is chasing it and I'm chasing it and it's crazy because I'm normally not scared of the things, but when you see these little beady eyes staring at you in the dark it kind of gets to you. I got a plastic cup and since I had the cat chasing it one way I went the other and finally trapped it under the cup and put a flip flop on top of that and proceeded to beg the cat NOT to knock it over :) if someone would have heard me they would have really thought I'd lost it! I then went and got some old newspaper and slid it under the cup and took the mouse outside and let it go. Mission accomplished-panic dying down. Then I felt bad because my cat was looking for it after like 'where did it go?'. So I went upstairs and had luckily gotten him a mouse toy that has a remote control and drives around so then he started getting that instead. I didn't feel so bad then. I kept telling him good boy :). It was funny because when my dad got home from work he starts playing with the cat and tells him 'don't bring a mouse in the house anymore and scare your sister to death'. I about started laughing when I heard that. So word to the wise, if your cat is meowing and sounds like his mouth is full-DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!!! Otherwise good boy Tom!!! We love you kitty!!!

It's Time!

Well, this is kind of a difficult post for me, but it's time-for Closure! For those of you who don't know-I was sexually assaulted about a year and a half ago. Set up on a blind date. The girl that set us up had known him for 10 years and thought he was a great guy, and on the first date it seemed like it to me to. He was LDS, had been on a mission, liked the same things I do, the list goes on. On the 3rd date-I found out otherwise. He kept asking me if I wanted a drink and i'm wondering if he had put something in it-thank heavens I didn't take it, who knows if there was something in there, but it could have been worse. We were ten minutes into the movie when he started trying things. I'm not going to say all that went on, but I feel blessed to have gotten out of there! I know I had help from above! I really do know it could have been much much worse! I've always been the type of girl who thought she was physically tough and could fight and get myself out of situations if needed, I was proved wrong. I also didn't think I was the type of girl it would happen to-I've always been overweight and so I didn't think it would be a problem, because they wouldn't be interested in doing something like that to me, wrong again! People's adrenaline get's going and they can overpower you. It has taken a very big toll on my mental state. I got very depressed-I didn't tell anyone, not even my family for about a month. Trust is still a big thing for me to do. I thought it was my fault for going to his house. I now know I'm wrong-but the horror of that night I'm sure will be with me forever-I'm sure it will lessen, but I might still have thoughts every once in awhile. I felt and still do-very violated, how someone can think they can do that to anyone. There are many ways you can feel like that-whether it's like my experience or someone breaking into your car or house. It is still so hard to trust people and I haven't dated since then, but I'm moving on! That is why I'm writing this. I don't want pity! I know the statistics are high for this type of stuff and if I can help one person to know it's not their fault I have done something good! I also want to say-you can't deal with it alone! Tell someone, call the cops, get counseling. I have-still do. It doesn't make you less of a person if you do. I have a great support system, but some don't-I want to say, there are places and people to talk to. Even if it's me! I would be glad to help someone or listen to them. Also-I want to maybe talk to young women about it, in a group setting, maybe help them to know what to do, look out for, or know someone can help if you have been in that type of situation or even something totally different. If anyone knows young women's groups or works with them in church or otherwise that might be interested. Let me know! Another reason for me writing this is to let people know-there are great people out their who wouldn't even think of doing something like that-so please don't misconstrue this as me saying no one is trustworthy, because there are people out there and I do know alot of them. Again, I don't want pity-just closure. I want to help others maybe help themselves. Be a listening ear, someone who might know what they are going through. Well that's kind of a dampening post, but I felt really strongly that I should write it.

Hard Day

Well yesterday was a hard day! It was the 8th anniversary of my grandpa Scott's death. It might have been awhile but it still is hard! What gets me through is knowing I will see him again and having that faith. Also I'm missing one of my best friends! I don't know if we are friends anymore-he said we weren't after an argument we got into last weekend. I wish I could help him, but he has to want help! I have realized that now. I've always known it, but never really let it sink in. I guess if we are meant to be friends and talk again, it will happen. There are things I would have done differently, but hindsight is 20/20 and I can think "I should have done this or I should have done that" but it won't do or change anything. I guess what I'm saying is don't let a little argument ruin a great friendship!

Just seems like another day so far...guess I'll see how it goes. I'm still teaching and studying a ton! I might be going to Africa to volunteer this year if all works out. It will either be later in March or in the fall. I'm really excited! I've wanted to do this for so long now! I guess that's just a little update since I only have one post so far-well now two. I hope everyone has a great day and to all my friends and family-I love you all!

First Blog

Alright, I'm new at this so I will do my best! First, a new semester of school and I sure hope I pass my classes! Like alot of you probably think yourself-I think alot of us stress about school. I don't know if it is because we want to be the best in what we are going into or if our parent's are pressuring us, who knows. All I know right now is that I will try my best, study til dawn, then go take a test with my eyelids half open. :) I hope I can also find some of my old friends who have blogs! Hear what is going on with them! So for now-bye.

Lace