It's Time!

Well, this is kind of a difficult post for me, but it's time-for Closure! For those of you who don't know-I was sexually assaulted about a year and a half ago. Set up on a blind date. The girl that set us up had known him for 10 years and thought he was a great guy, and on the first date it seemed like it to me to. He was LDS, had been on a mission, liked the same things I do, the list goes on. On the 3rd date-I found out otherwise. He kept asking me if I wanted a drink and i'm wondering if he had put something in it-thank heavens I didn't take it, who knows if there was something in there, but it could have been worse. We were ten minutes into the movie when he started trying things. I'm not going to say all that went on, but I feel blessed to have gotten out of there! I know I had help from above! I really do know it could have been much much worse! I've always been the type of girl who thought she was physically tough and could fight and get myself out of situations if needed, I was proved wrong. I also didn't think I was the type of girl it would happen to-I've always been overweight and so I didn't think it would be a problem, because they wouldn't be interested in doing something like that to me, wrong again! People's adrenaline get's going and they can overpower you. It has taken a very big toll on my mental state. I got very depressed-I didn't tell anyone, not even my family for about a month. Trust is still a big thing for me to do. I thought it was my fault for going to his house. I now know I'm wrong-but the horror of that night I'm sure will be with me forever-I'm sure it will lessen, but I might still have thoughts every once in awhile. I felt and still do-very violated, how someone can think they can do that to anyone. There are many ways you can feel like that-whether it's like my experience or someone breaking into your car or house. It is still so hard to trust people and I haven't dated since then, but I'm moving on! That is why I'm writing this. I don't want pity! I know the statistics are high for this type of stuff and if I can help one person to know it's not their fault I have done something good! I also want to say-you can't deal with it alone! Tell someone, call the cops, get counseling. I have-still do. It doesn't make you less of a person if you do. I have a great support system, but some don't-I want to say, there are places and people to talk to. Even if it's me! I would be glad to help someone or listen to them. Also-I want to maybe talk to young women about it, in a group setting, maybe help them to know what to do, look out for, or know someone can help if you have been in that type of situation or even something totally different. If anyone knows young women's groups or works with them in church or otherwise that might be interested. Let me know! Another reason for me writing this is to let people know-there are great people out their who wouldn't even think of doing something like that-so please don't misconstrue this as me saying no one is trustworthy, because there are people out there and I do know alot of them. Again, I don't want pity-just closure. I want to help others maybe help themselves. Be a listening ear, someone who might know what they are going through. Well that's kind of a dampening post, but I felt really strongly that I should write it.